The following post is by my friend Ron Vazzano. I hope it will put a big smile on your face.
Pope to Pop More Surprises in 2014?
Pope to Pop More Surprises in 2014?
In the nine months he has been in office, it seems Pope Francis pops one surprise after another on an almost weekly basis. Be it a startling quote, an act of ya-gotta-be-kidding-me humility, or some off-beat everyman disclosure (“I was once a bouncer”), he has captured the imagination of a large cross section of humanity.
I mean, a pope in a clown nose?
In designating him as their Person of the Year for 2013, Time magazine had this to say:
"… he has placed himself at the very center of the central conversations of our time, about wealth and poverty, fairness and justice, transparency, modernity, globalization, the role of women, the nature of marriage, the temptations of power. When he kisses the face of a disfigured man or washes the feet of a Muslim woman, the image resonates far beyond the boundaries of the Catholic Church."
And that’s just on Monday.
And then shortly after, Advocate, the oldest gay rights magazine in America, also honored him as their person of the year. In so doing, they hailed as a landmark, his famous response to a reporter who had asked about gay people in the church: "If a person is gay and seeks God and has good will, who am I to judge?"
One can’t help but wonder in all of this, what surprises and revelations might be forthcoming in 2014, regarding this popular pontiff. These are but a smattering of headlines that are not difficult to imagine in the coming year.wh
Pope Francis: “I once got a ‘D’ on my Latin Final”
A Vatican source who asked to remain anonymous, revealed that the Pope was a also terrible speller.
Pope Francis Lives in a Studio Apartment with His Dog “Assisi”
Sources confirmed that he walks to work every day, after first walking his dog, a mutt he rescued from a pound in his first week as Pope.
Pope Francis was Born in Kenya
Pope: “Mary Magdalene was an Apostle”
When asked by someone in the press corps on a flight coming back from the desert in which he had spent 40 days and 40 nights, if he was saying therefore that there were really 13 apostles (and a woman at that) and not 12 as in the scriptures, he responded: “13, 12, 11, whatever…it’s just a number.”
Pope was Fired from Bouncer Job
It was revealed today in the Italian press, that Pope Francis was fired from his job as a bouncer for always turning the other cheek and never checking ID’s at the door.
Pope in line at Motor Vehicles
Not using his status to avoid a four hour wait, Pope Francis stood in line to renew his license at a nearby Motor Vehicles in Rome today. (He drives an ‘84 Renault in lieu of the Vatican provided chauffeured car). It gave him the opportunity to “demonstrate patience, rather than merely to preach it,”he said, as he consoled some who had stopped by in tears, after having failed their written test.
Pope Francis Was Once Jewish
New Dress Code for the Swiss Guard
The Pope announced today that the Vatican will institute a casual Friday dress code for the Swiss Guard beginning this Spring.
“It’s Gay Divorce I’m Really Concerned About,” says Pope Francis
Pope Surprises Many on Scriptural Interpretations
As for the eating of the apple in the Garden of Eden, he responded: “I might have done the same. Who’s to say? I love apples.”
Pope Owns a Cell Phone
But in keeping with his austerity, it is a rotary. And he has not downloaded any applications. The U.S. Government has confirmed this.
Pope’s Denunciation of Capitalism Caused the DOW to Drop on Friday
Cardinal Dolan in a recent homily at St. Patrick’s Cathedral, and in follow ups on Meet the Press, the Today Show, Good Morning America, Charlie Rose, CNN, CNBC, Fox News and the Tonight Show, assured all that the pope was speaking metaphorically.
Pope Once Gave Meat to a Hungry Man on a Friday
When asked whether or not the man was Catholic, “Don’t ask don’t tell,” he explained to the press.
Pope Meets with Lady Gaga
They shared a bit of humor about the number of syllables in their respective real names: Jorge Mario Bergoglio and Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta. Ted Cruz is outraged.
Pope: “I am Not Worthy of My Name Being Capitalized”
In still one more sign of great humility, the pope issued a statement in which he asked that his name no longer be capitalized, nor should a formal Roman number follow it. He asked that it now appear in print as francis 1.a
Are these stories true? All of them? I think it is unlikely that he should be waiting 4 hours in a motor-office, except if it was because of the chance to get in contact with ordinary people. But on the other hand his presence will normally cause an assembly, wouldn't it?
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